Brother hate

His brother has always hated me from the beginning and i guess thats my thought. But you know the dealt with family, if you family don't like a people you with it totally changes everything. But with me I'm a person that can not suck up to someone it's not in my nature. What you see is what you get , i really can't be fake. If someone don't like me i don't care.

But i really did respect his brother and his intentions and did not take any of it personally, he was just a good brother that loved his brother to death and would do anything to protect him from anything and everything he can and i know if he could he would move many mountains and every mountain so that he could see his brother happy . How can you not respect that!

Life with regrets

I'm missing him dearly everyday and every ,it's so hard not being able to speak to him and being able to see him. i know i hurt him and I'm an truly sorry for what i did to him and know in my heart that he will never forget me or believe how sorry i am, but can i really blame. I know that no matter how much i try to fix things it, his mind is already mind up but i don't care i'm going to keep trying with the same intentions i had when i first meet him ' you will never know until you try'. I knew i loved him alot but i never really knew how much i really did until he was gone and now his gone i can't do anything with my self nor talk to anyone about how i feel because nobody understands they just saw a couple that argued a lot, a couple who where the opposites, a couple that didn't have a future because they were to much at stack but theirs more to it. it was we have that kept us together it the influences we have on each other, the fact that we could talk about anything and everything and not looking at each other in a different light nor judging each other in a way others would. He was like family to me he was part of my family and my family loved him and in my family it's always been hard to bring people home because of how they would react but the funny thing is that they didn't react they took time to get to no him which was weird but when i told then the news of the break up they were disappointed because they really liked him and fort it would last. i felt like i disappointed them. i wish i could have the chance to do things different i show him how much i really appreciate having him in my life and wish that i could give him the world that he give me...

Love is pain and pain is love

I feel like shit I went out late night to bury my feelings in the sand but it was the worse night I've had in my life, i just couldn't enjoy myself, i just kept thinking to myself is this what i throw away a life time relationship for. i felt like crap and just could not help but miss him.. for so many years I've been burying my feelings and hiding behind a brick wall mask. it's what makes me stronger it's what makes me move on more quickly with out having to dealing with the hurting and healing season. Don't get me wrong it all does caught up with but it does when I'm ready but the problem is when I'm ready and I've realised, it's already to late..

You may be wondering how the heck I'm talking about .. well i will tell u what I'm talking about. I am so so deeply hurting deeper in ma heart then i ever knew i could ever feel about anyone but it really hurts and i just can't understand why people would fall in love knowing that they may feel this pain later.. is it really worth the hardcore pain that you suffer? the heartache in your soul that is continuous banging on you chest causing you depression to the point that you become vunable and capable of doing something to harm you self???

I was in a 8 month relationship and i was deeply in love. He hated me partying and drinking and hated the fact that i would lie about things just to cover up what i knew he didn't like. I just felt to myself what he don't know would hurt him but i was wrong. Lying is the worse thing u can do and my parent taught me better then that.. i just don't know where it all went wrong and i don't know why i feel i had to lie to him. Me out of all people should no how it feels we people close to you lie. i dealt with it throughout my life. why would i lie to someone i love.

Cut the long story short he told me to choose either him or partying. I fort to my self is his honestly serious.. does he honestly want to throw away what we have just because i party knowing that it would make me unhappy. i just didn't get it but i was ready to do it. i felt that a few hours of dancing is nothing compared to a relationship that could last a life time. but after 2 days i went partying and lied to him again. i truly regret what i did it was not worth it but i can not turn the clock back. i did what i did i I'm paying the price for it. I've now lost him completely and he's cut me off completely. i deserve it for what I've put him though, i let him down i let my self down and i let my family down


you may say it's 8 months how can u be in love already. do you even know what the world love means. i can honestly say to you yes i do and I'm feeling the consequences on a painful breakup. I been in and out of relationships since i was 16 and fort i knew what love was but i was totally wrong. We i first met this guy i thought to myself ..please it will never happen but me being me .. even though i know i will be rejected i will go ahead and do it anyway because anything is possible right.