lose control

I know that if things don't work out i will lose control of my self and everything else that i worked so hard for to become a better person.

For the last 10 months i feel like i've grown into a mature women and become a commited person then i have even been im my life. I've been serious and i've not been messing about with no one, i've taken it every single seriously. People may say actions speak loader then words but who cares! action and speaking mean much more then proving things.

Im living in a path of two directions. One side is telling me if I want to proceeds I need to go the right way about it. The other side is telling me that this is a time where people get serious so why would you be going in a direction where things are unclear and things may or may not be bright. I know if we want to be together is going to be a difficult fight. But is it worth it? because in the end we all know its either me or his family he loses. I know that he will never choose me over his family so either way someone is gonna get hurt. So if I know this why I’m I still going in this direction that is not certain. Does it make sense.

I know anything is possible but how can things be possible if you have not tried to make them possible. I’ve made things possible in my side but taking risks that I never thought were possible. Even though it happened in an unusual way God made it possible and I thank him so much for that. But don't you think it was about time you did your bit?